Christmas-Themed Fake Quotes from My Stories

“Keltin, is there such a thing as a snow mirage?”
“What are you talking about, Jaylocke?”
“I’ve heard that in the desert, you can get so hot and thirty that you begin to see things that aren’t really there. Do you think you can get the same thing out here?”
“I doubt it. Why?”
“Look.”
Keltin turned to look where his apprentice was pointing and saw that one of the evergreen trees on the far bank of the Wylow river had been festooned with decorations. Delicate glass ornaments hung from every bough as small woodland creatures scattered silvery strands of tinsel along the green needles. Keltin turned back to Jaylocke as the squirrels and rabbits began laying brightly wrapped packages around the tree trunk.
“I think we’ve been out in the cold too long,” he said.
– (not from) Into the North

“No! I don’t want to!” shouted Vin, the talking sword. “You can’t make me!”
“I can, and I will!” said the knight holding Vin. “Now get in there!”
“No!” screamed Vin as he was plunged into the still body before him. “You monster!”
“Oh hush and carve the turkey,” said the knight.
– (not from) Magic, Mystery and Mirth

“Huh,” said Keltin.
“What is it?” asked Bor’ve’tai.
“Nothing,” said Keltin, looking at the still beast he’d just brought down. “I’ve just never seen a serpent stag with a glowing red nose before.”
– (not from) The Beast Hunter

Well, Journal, there’s good news and bad news. It’s Christmas Day, and against all odds, Santa did come! Unfortunately, instead of six months of food and a shotgun, he brought me dress socks and a sweater with a bird on it.
– (not from) Lost Under Two Moons

A New Home for my Online Courses

I’ve got some very exciting news for anyone interested in taking my creative writing classes! In the past, you’ve either had to hope that I would come to a town near you for a workshop or else you would have to sift through my occasional online workshops for a subject that applies to you. Well no more!

Savvyauthors.com is a website dedicated to helping writers at all stages of their craft, and they have generously offering me a place in their spring catalog of online offerings. From April to June of 2018, I’ll be teaching five different creative writing courses via live webinar as well as recorded videos. The courses that are currently on the schedule include:

The Basics of Creative Writing
Finding Your Writing Process
A Novel in Four Drafts
Crafting a Complete Story
Four Types of Scenes

These courses can be taken individually or as a complete series. You can even take a single workshop or several workshops across different courses.

Follow the link below to see the complete series as well as the individual courses available from savvyauthors.com.

Classes & Events from Instructor Lindsay Schopfer

Note: My in-person, creative writing courses through South Puget Sound Community College’s continuing education program are growing in popularity all the time and will continue into 2018. In fact, there will be some exciting new developments there as well, but that’s for another blog post… 🙂

SPSCC Winter Writing Course Schedule

My Birthday Wish

Today is my birthday, and for the last few weeks I’ve had people asking me what I want. Honestly, I want what I have. I’m finally a father (twice!), I have a loving family, more good friends than I can count, and I get to work in a field that I love. My life is blessed, and I am so grateful for it.

I suppose if I did want to ask for something more, it would be success as an author. My fan base continues to be loyal but small, and I often wish I could share my stories with more people. With that in mind, this is what I’d like for my birthday.

If you’re still doing your Christmas shopping, please consider giving the gift of one (or more) of my books to a friend or family member. Not only would this be a kind gesture to me, but you’d be sharing great stories with the people that you care about.

If you decide to buy a book of mine for someone this Christmas, please leave a comment below so I can thank you for your wonderful birthday present to me.

Love you all!
Lindsay

Link to all of my books on Amazon

Ten Christmas Gifts for the Writer in Your Life

1. A cat video filter for her internet browser

2. A “Cliff Notes” version of a book on the craft of writing

3. A word processor that auto-corrects telling instead of showing

4. An instant-inspiration pill that is not harmful, habit-forming, or fattening

5. A mobile desk so she can pace and write at the same time

6. A voice-activated graphic design program that will take an infinite number of vocal commands to design the perfect book cover

7. A music app that syncs up the type of scene she’s writing with the appropriate mood music

8. Special glasses that can scan people’s brains and instantly know whether they’ll be interested in her book or not

9. An automated candy dispenser that will only release a piece of chocolate for each time she writes another 1,000 words

10. A keyboard that makes typing feel like she’s petting a dog