Ten Christmas Gifts for the Writer in Your Life

1. A cat video filter for her internet browser

2. A “Cliff Notes” version of a book on the craft of writing

3. A word processor that auto-corrects telling instead of showing

4. An instant-inspiration pill that is not harmful, habit-forming, or fattening

5. A mobile desk so she can pace and write at the same time

6. A voice-activated graphic design program that will take an infinite number of vocal commands to design the perfect book cover

7. A music app that syncs up the type of scene she’s writing with the appropriate mood music

8. Special glasses that can scan people’s brains and instantly know whether they’ll be interested in her book or not

9. An automated candy dispenser that will only release a piece of chocolate for each time she writes another 1,000 words

10. A keyboard that makes typing feel like she’s petting a dog